Sunday, August 23, 2009 1:08 AM
HMPH!
im not doing his work.
im not doing his work.
im not doing his work.
we're facing prelim 2 in 2 weeks. dont freak ok. ive got like, 10 days to gp paper?
its not helping that 2 days we finish at 6.40, 1 day we finish 5.10 and 2 other days we have to use for personal consultation.
its really not. im exhausted as hell.
and i miss mr sim as our ct. he may not always be the best around, but he doesnt SHOUT at us for no apparent reason.
im not angry with f__. im just... i dont know. we dont take mcs for granted, we really dont. but its the stress thats mounting up on us thats causing all the absentees. its not as if we're on truancy mode or sumth. really, he gotta look at it this way. only ONE or TWO people in this ppl may have dont such things, but there's no sense in scolding the whole class until the first level classes can hear cause its just gonna make us hate him more.
furthermore, the way he says things make me feel so humbled. as a class, its better to push up the morale of the students instead of shooting us down. i feel like not coming for pre-2 econs for fun. HAHA! now that'll be a riot!
how does forcing us to do essays that we have the model answers for help us i wonder? 3 for his tut. and im only starting on lect essay, which is 2. "improve the answers" hmmm! its MODEL essay. MOOOOOOO DEEEEEL essay. k ada paham? when the answer's in front of me, i will just grab it anddddd copy. and the workload's just too much.
since 3 days ago, ive stopped doing his work. he can blah de blah for all he wants.
ok lah, maybe i just do detailed outline.
im just ranting for fun. its stress relief.
~ you're everything I need
1:05 AM
5 econs essays.
5 econs essay = 10 mini essays.
in one weekend.
wait.
5 econs essays.
FIVE econs essays?
~ you're everything I need
Friday, August 14, 2009 7:23 AM
im sorry if im frank, obstinate, straightforward, blunt.
lets pause here okay, for a while.
first of all, what is your purpose of writing me all the emails?
is it to make me forgive mel? according to you, she has done nothing wrong. so what is there to forgive?
is your purpose to make both of us get back together? do you think im going to forgive her after you screwed, harrassed and plagued my friends?
is your purpose to make me "change into a better person"? cause you knoe, it wont happen. even if it happens, its not because of this.
is your purpose to make me feel humiliated? bad? you've done whatever you could... thats like 13 emails worth of nonsense.
tell me what you want, zubir.
cause i dont understand.
if you've done your deed, just leave. go away. get lost. move on.
i'll like to think you care for me as a "person". but thats nonsense. so tell me.
~ you're everything I need
Tuesday, August 11, 2009 11:44 PM
thank you. so so much.
thank you for giving me your kind attention to everything that i have uttered. thank you loving me (: thank you for letting me abuse me and misuse you.
im sorry. for being such an immature bitch sometimes. it happens when you're with someone 3 years younger than you. age gap ah. but you tolerated me well, and i dont know how you did that. if i were to date myself, i would have dump myself long time ago.
im sorry that you have to listen to the endless nonsense from my mature and immature friends. im sorry that you have to be there to hold me in your arms almost everytime. im sorry for being such a drama queen and im just sorry for being me. the most sorry ever.
how did my birthday go? like shit. some people just cant let it go for one day. i need a hug. (:
nobody have ever done the things that you do for me. nobody will ever run up and down the neighbourhood in search of my thief snatcher. baby, you're just so amazing (: but please, dont bash up the wrong person.
i need panadol. coffee. maybe you. my consolation after getting some harrassing emails, seeing my best friend fight another best friend, and getting my phone snatched and running barefooted in the middle of the night in pursuit of the attacker is that i have you. and you and you and you and you... and that will never change.
i'll try to change myself for the better. but you gonna give me your love (:
~ you're everything I need
Saturday, August 08, 2009 2:33 PM
personal statement.im still not yet 18. im a teenager, with so much imperfections. i have so many things i want to change myself about. i dont mind when people tell me my weaknesses cause obviously i do have them.
but these days ive become much too opiniated, too much ego in my veins, too much self-absorption maybe. i realised that when im a mindless blonde people tend to befriend me more. lines of communication have deteoriated, and i wonder why.
ive lost so many friends in the process cause they have changed too much, or they were like that before and i only spoke up now.
two people in question; i wanted me to fcuk off and the other wanted me to help her. her in question is an ex-friend of mine.
this is pretty much whether i want to put myself in front of her, or her in front of myself. im not sure who to believe, but i think she's suffering.
i just wish somebody would make decisions for me, cause im lost.
~ you're everything I need
12:49 PM
i realised that im just one sadistic, cynical girl.
please dont sue me.
when i was fairly an adolescent, i totally adore watching the National Day Parade behind the screen of the black box. i just love singing those patriotic songs out loud ( i still do, made a fool out of myself during the National Day Celebrations in IJC) and mimicking those hand gestures especially from 'We Will Get There'.
two National Days ago, i just lost interest in NDPs. i find that they always seems to be doing the same thing over and over again. sure, they may have changed the performance, but its just practically the same. seen 16 NDPs, seen them all. or maybe i just hate to share my birth month with Singapore (mine is 2 days after) hurhur.
maybe i just hate the way how the little red dot dramatizes everything, for example. the NDP. cliched much? people chasing for tickets, queueing up all the way from sundusk to sunset. though i think the performers, many of whom have practiced from the BEGINNING of the year, do deserve a big credit. however, thousands of them do not get the credit they deserve, being shrunk to little dots on the grassy field.
what do they get for getting into NDP? im not sure its a valuable item to put onto your testimonials or your School Graduation Certificates. please do not tell me you go there for the free goodies. though i admit its nice. my parents sometimes have to guard the posts during National Day and they always throw in a few of those back home.
so, Singapore is multicultural multilingual multi-whatevernots, a mass of foreign citizens with "hopes" (rolling my eyes). and basically gaining independence since only 1965, is a small country with not much history laid on it. what have we got to be patriotic about? oh wait. the Japanese conquering us and British colonialism. "we have no rights... we have no say... we long to be free one day..." is that really true? it just sounds like a soap opera to me. i didnt recall any mass killings or genocide happening around here.
so then people tell me why they love Singapore. i just love the way how "kiasu-ism" is overused in so many ways. its not a GOOD TRAIT. its a BAD trait!!! sure, when people become selfish and only care for their own good. is that something we Singaporeans should be proud about? i dont think so.
i dont like the way where the Singapore education is mainly based for our knowledge-based economy. i dont like all the elitist nonsense, i hate all the pushing parents i see at the libraries staring down their 8-year old kids to do their math
when what they should do is sit down and read a damn good book. and we wonder WHY they seem not to have a childhood.
im not sure, when i delved into the job sector, whether i will still change my mind, cause frankly, i dont know what to say to all this.
i dont understand why people would want to hoo-ha over some old man wearing "unappropiate" attire to the park. i dont understand why people would complain about getting fined for eating a sweet in MRT, cause really, you should have seen it coming.
i consider myself to be a Singaporean. but i just loathe it when i see all the hoo-ha around here sometimes. its just like another bad soap opera.
there are many things i love about Singapore. the food, the culture, the environment, the peace, (sometimes) laughing at the kiasu people queuing up for the FREE today paper in the MRT, joke about the big Durian which im not sure how and why it became part of the Sg identity, i just love the different people in this whole city and MANY MANY more. i love my friends, family, and my Bangla, and frankly ive a good life. i cant complain much, however the part about patriotism blah blah blah just doesnt occur right to me.
so the only thing i ruled as maybe "correct" (or politically correct) is that Singaporeans are still trying to find their identity, be it individual or national. we have so little to be proud of, so little to be happy about, that we grasp the few thick lines of patriotism. thats basically what Singapore is about i guess. a few dots of people in a bigger but still small red dot, in the middle of Asia, trying to find who they are, what their past is about.
cause basically, if you just cant do one simple thing, thats is say the pledge at 8.22 pm on 9 August 2009, what else can you do?
PS: im still NOT singing the theme song this year... sounds like somebody tried to blend in patrotic and Secondhand Serenade (and SS is my favourite band, so dont ruin it!) even if i do sing, im telling you im crossing my fingers behind my back. hmph!
~ you're everything I need
